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I'm Beautiful, Dammit!
This Here Dandy

Click here to see the outfit Second outfit at C.O.G.S. Expo, May 13, 2022

I love my dandyism, in case you haven't noticed by now. There are too many reasons to list why I love what I do, but I will talk about one of the reasons why I love it in this blog.

I have realized that, in my XX years of walking this earth, as a gay man, particularly a gay fem queer man, that my gay subculture of the overarching LGBTQ+ community tends to view young, white, muscular bodies as the go-to standard for male beauty and the ultimate for the male gaze. Being older, fatter, and dumpier than the go-to standard has mostly ensured that I am not easily approachable, not sexually desirable, and definitely not often socially acceptable. While this is ultimately not acceptable in a marginalized community, and there are plenty of resources available for you to learn about the pratfalls we on the "other end" of the gay body spectrum face:

-- Gay Men & Body Image Facebook Community
-- Body Issues Pervade The Gay Community
-- Queer Men of Color Body Issues And Race

What is important, though, is that I can employ my boundless imagination to elevate myself above the limitations of my own "sub-standard" body to something of a beautiful, amazing dandy.

Click here to see the outfit Gender-Bending Dandy Cruella outfit for Pride Photo Shoot, Logan Circle, Washington, DC, June 26, 2021

Of course it doesn't convert me into a gay sex demon demigod Instagram universal thirst trap (except for that one time at Bar Le Stud in Montreal, but that's for another blog), what it does for me, though, is that it allows me to realize that I can rise above the labels unfairly placed on me by my own subculture and feel more self-confident, even if the majority of those who are enamored by my style tend to be women (and I'm gay, how about that).

Click here to see the outfit Runway, Cherry, April 8, 2022

While I am glad that I have this very fem, fancy, and elegant armor that I can only occasionally wear (try wearing this in the summer!), it's more important that we, as a society, stop with the ageism, the ableism, and the body shaming that is a root cause of a lot of our problems on our end of the body spectrum. All bodies are beautiful.. Periodt!

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